My Mindset Wasn’t Broken — My Hormones Were
I thought I was weak, then I saw my lab results....
I had tried everything — books, coaching, breathwork, meditation, workouts, clean eating, no alcohol, cold plunges.
None of it moved the needle.
I still woke up exhausted. My emotions were fragile, anxiety and panic . I’d snap at people I loved. I felt dead inside at work and at home. A desire to be alone, pushing away friends and hobbies.
But I kept going. Because that’s what I’d always done. Double down on hard work and grit….the wheels were wobbling.
I met with so many trained people and never received an inkling of an answer. Finally a close friend suggested I got some bloodwork done. A full panel focused on testosterone. I wasn’t expecting much. Just a checkbox.
Then the doctor called.
“Your testosterone is at 131. For your age, it should be much, much higher. You have the testosterone of an 80 year old ill male.”
I was in clinical hypogonadism. My testosterone was in the tank. No one had ever checked. No one had suggested it. I was treated like I was stressed or burned out. But my body was off — in ways I couldn’t “mindset” my way out of. Honestly I almost threw up when I heard the news, pissed that this has been happening and I was unaware, pissed I could have addressed it earlier, pissed that a large number of professionals never brought hormones up once, pissed because it made me feel less of a man having low T….a mix of shit.
Looking back, this was the root of the storm.
I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t undisciplined.
I was running a high-performance engine on fumes and ‘blaming’ myself for the burnout. I’ve never felt worse and it made me think immediately “how many others are struggling right now with this same issue”…….it crushed me that others could feel what I feel.
Since starting treatment, my life didn’t just “bounce back” — it recalibrated. My thinking cleared. My sleep returned. My anxiety dropped. I had energy again. I felt connected again. My wife would say “you are back, I see it in your eyes”.
That’s why I’m writing this. Because no one talks about it, and yet I’m meeting more men every day who are silently unraveling.
I’m not here to sell you anything. I don’t have all the answers, far from it. I’m still figuring this out myself. That said, like everything else in my life….I have now have passion for this topic and I will be an expert and my goal is to help men. When I have a ‘fire’ for something, I go all in…..I haven’t felt this ‘energy’ in a long time, so I am embracing it.
In my next post, I’m going to talk more openly about what this felt like — the confusion, the shame, the slow unraveling — and what I wish someone had told me earlier.
You’re not alone in this. You’re not crazy. And there’s nothing wrong with asking questions when your body, mind, or spirit feel off.
Bottom line, feeling the reignition of my internal fire led me to want to help others. I prayed hard for a solution to this terrible issue and I feel my prayers were answered. I spent hours searching for answers and got nothing. I don’t know where I am going with this substack, candidly my first time doing anything like this…but if it helps one person, then it was time well spent.
Call to Action:
If this sounds familiar — if you’ve felt like something’s wrong but couldn’t name it — you’re not alone. That’s why I’m sharing all this.
I’m not a doctor or a coach. Just a guy who hit the wall, struggled to find the light switch for months in the dark and got the miracle I was looking for….
Subscribe if you want to keep following along. No pressure, no promises — just stories, reflection, and maybe a little clarity along the way.